“Bad Off”

The “Democratic” party of Iowa is in a truly deplorable condition – no chance to steal from the Government, and whisky up two dollars a gallon! Only think of it! The whole party of the State couldn’t raise enough of the ‘Great Principle” to build a platform, at Des Moines, on the 7th of June. Verily, the glorious old party is “bad off.” And if “suthin don’t be did” soon she’ll be “wuss.” She could get along without any “stealins” if whisky was plenty and cheap, or whisky might “go as high as it had a mind to” if the party could get both arms into the public treasury – she wouldn’t keen for expenses then. But no such good fortune is hers. Heavily-taxed whisky and no stealings! Alas, Democracy!

[Council Bluffs Nonpareil

– Published in The Union Sentinel, Osceola, Iowa, Saturday, July 9, 1864