Saturday, March 1, 2014

Colonel Thomas Kilby Smith to Elizabeth Budd Smith, January 26, 1862

HEADQUARTERS 54TH REGT. O. V. U. S. A.,
CAMP DENNISON, January 26, 1862.

To-day the sword is received, and a very elegant and superior sword it is, I assure you, with its double scabbard and sword-belt all complete, well worthy of the donors.1 My only prayer now is that by the grace of God, I may be enabled so to use it that they may not believe the gift ill-bestowed. I shall acknowledge the favor to-morrow if my time is not too much cut up. I have my head, hands, and heart full now and find every moment precious to me. . . .

You ask me to publish the correspondence between the kind friends who have presented me with the splendid sword and myself. I am almost ashamed to publish now the compliments through the daily papers. I would prefer, unless they preferred the other course, to wait until I had accomplished something that would be deemed worthy of the honor. One of my former associates at the Cincinnati Bar, who has taken the field, Colonel McCook, has recently at the battle of Fishing Creek, near Somerset, won laurels. Several Cincinnatians distinguished themselves, some were killed, and many were wounded. I do not like, or rather I do not think it quite in good taste to publish at this time, that which it would have been quite proper and of immense benefit to me and my regiment to have published a month or six weeks ago. I have not fully made up my mind, however, in regard to the matter, and whatever I do, you shall be at once apprised of.

I have the honor to command a regiment composed of as fine a body of men as perhaps were ever got together, and, if there is faith in human nature, they are all devoted to me. I feel sometimes, barring the deeds, like a hero of romance. I have three fine horses; one of them a stallion, that nobody can back or manage but myself; the very realization of all I ever hoped for in a horse, perfect in size, in symmetry of form, in color, in carriage, in speed, and in gait. His harness is complete. My pistols are the best of Colt's revolvers, with one of which I cut a card one inch on the line below the centre at a hundred and twenty-five yards distance a few days ago. I govern at despotic will nearly a thousand men, each one of whom leaps with alacrity to perform my bidding, and some, perhaps many, of whom would count it small cost to spill his blood for me. A soldier is always guarding the door of my tent, a line of soldiers always surrounds it, all my individual wants are supplied, the most of my wishes anticipated. I have recruited from all over the State, and all over the State I have friends, particularly among the women who are deluging me with presents for the regiment. The other day I received boxes containing two hundred exceedingly fine country woven blankets, with an equal number of flannel shirts, flannel drawers, pairs of socks and mittens from the ladies of Fayette County. Just afterwards the ladies of Preble County sent an immense quantity of blankets, socks, etc. The day before yesterday the ladies of Clifton sent some two dozen pillows, with cases, a number of sheets, shirts, old linen, etc., for hospital purposes, and to-day a large quantity of coverlids, pillows, preserved and canned fruits, etc., were sent down for the hospital. Just now as I am writing a man has come in with a dozen or two fresh eggs, each one carefully wrapped in paper, with a can of peaches, a bottle of vinegar, and a jar of tomatoes for the Colonel. Scarce a day passes that they don't send me chickens and all that sort of thing. Now, on the other side, I have a terrible responsibility, the mothers and fathers, sisters and wives, sweethearts, friends, and relations of all these brave boys look to me for their weal or woe. If I make a mistake by which human life is needlessly sacrificed, how terrible is the penalty! For this reason I am cautious. . . . I won't say I fear, for I hate the word; I don't fear anything, man or devil, but I don't choose to be in advance of myself — my hour has not yet come. I won't ask praise until I have earned it. I am very glad my friends have sent me this sword. It is more gratifying to my feelings than I can express to you, and I wish you would take occasion to write to each one of them, a list of the names of whom I will give you, your own personal recognition of the claim they have to your gratitude for the kindness and honor they have done your son.

You say you fear I am passing a gloomy winter in camp. I wish you could see me at this moment and the interior of the hut I live in. It is to me a paradise of delight. Do you recollect the old kitchen at the farm, and the saddles and bridles, bits and spurs that garnished the walls. View me now only more so ; pistols and swords, bridles and belts, caps and gauntlets, foils and uniforms, a rough pine cupboard with a bottle of whiskey and a jug of water, pipes, a table covered with a blanket, and that thoroughly littered, letters answered and unanswered, mostly the latter; Hardee & Scott, the Army Regulations, and the Lord knows what. Buffalo robes to sleep on, and horse rugs, red, gray, and blue blankets for cover; lie down when I please, get up when I please, breakfast from eight till eleven, dinner from twelve to four, for no heed do I pay to special orders in the eating line. I make the men eat to the tap of the drum, but I eat when I please. No woman to bother me, save the country maidens who come to camp to see the soldiers, and they not much. Nary baby to keep awake o' nights. The fact is, camp life to a field-officer is a bachelor's paradise.
__________

1 Presented by friends in Massachusetts.

SOURCE: Walter George Smith, Life and letters of Thomas Kilby Smith, p. 178-80

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