Monday, April 4, 2022

Brigadier-General Rutherford B. Hayes to Sardis Birchard, March 24, 1865

CAMP HASTINGS, March 24, 1865.

DEAR UNCLE: — Crook was all right with Grant, but Stanton was angry. Grant however rules matters where he really attempts it. Stanton refused to make an effort for a special and privileged exchange. Grant, however, had it done. Crook stopped at Grant's headquarters. Grant wanted him to stay and take an important active command in his army before Richmond. Crook told him he wanted to be restored to the Department of West Virginia, if for only one day, to show the public that he was not in disfavor. It was accordingly so arranged. Crook returned here, took command, came out to my camp and had a happy meeting with the men, and the next day left for Grant's Army. It is supposed he will take the cavalry of the Army of the Potomac. It is probably better for his reputation that it is so.

Hancock is a very fair man, but nervous, excitable, and hasty. Would not act badly except from want of reflection.

Your suggestion as to Mother is, I think, correct. She is probably happier than her letters would indicate. As people get along in life, their feelings and mode of talking and writing get into channels; they have habits of talking, etc., which do not mean much. If mother was perfectly happy she would write in a strain of melancholy. She is in the habit of thinking that she would like to be with her grandchildren all the time. This is a mistake. Their noise and childish acts and talking would in one week weary her into greater discomfort than she is now in for want of them. For a little while she enjoys them very much. My only effort is to treat her affectionately and try to turn her thoughts in some incidental way into pleasanter paths. If I were keeping house, I know she would soon become more tired of my home than she is now of Mrs. Wasson's. Her intellect is twisted into a habit of thinking and meditating too much on herself instead of occupying her mind with external affairs. It can't be helped. Indirectly we may do a good deal to contribute to her happiness, but scarcely anything in the common way. Suppose I should say, "What do you prefer as your mode of life?" and she should reply, I would do her no favor by complying exactly with her wishes. I shall try to go to Washington (for) a few days soon.

Sincerely,
R. B. HAYES.
S. BIRCHARD.

SOURCE: Charles Richard Williams, editor, Diary and Letters of Rutherford Birchard Hayes, Volume 2, p. 569-70

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