To-day I have been
in the Confederate service for one year, and the war seems scarcely begun.
Those who entered the army thinking it was nothing more than a "Harper's
Ferry" frolic, have been sadly disappointed, for the future is as dark as
chaos, and none, save the Almighty, can see the end. My determination is fully
made up to remain in the service as long as the war lasts.
The late order
issued by the Secretary of War, causing all soldiers to remain in their present
organizations, has caused some dissatisfaction in our camp. Yet it was
absolutely necessary, for the prior acts of enlistment passed by the
Confederate and State authorities have, instead of benefitting us, so mystified
the matter that the above order must be enforced, or our army would be
disbanded.
Every little
Corporal was bent upon raising a company; Captains were hopefully looking
forward to Colonelcies, and Colonels dreamed fondly of "three stars
wreathed in gold.”
In one regiment, the
Fourteenth Virginia, there were about twenty new companies in process of
formation, and every man of them expected a commission. Then the old companies
had to be kept up, and if all went well, the Confederacy would have at least
three regiments instead of one. That would be a considerable gain, provided the
three regiments were full, and commanded by competent officers. I much fear the
result would be three inefficient regiments in the place of one fully organized
and equipped.
This order of
General Randolph, now Secretary of War, has dispelled all such bright dreams of
promotion, and I hope it will be strictly carried out and cheerfully obeyed.
Many changes have taken place since this day twelve months, and years of
bloodshed must ensue before peace will be restored to our unhappy country.
Oh! may a just God
be our protector and give success to our at present unsuccessful arms. Defeats
and disasters have followed, each after the other, until some of our
faint-hearted are drooping and doubtful of our final triumph. Though we may be
defeated on the battle-field; though our cities and villages may be captured,
burned and destroyed; though our entire land may be devastated, yet we will
never be conquered. We may be forced to yield to preponderance of power, but
the WILLING unity of the States is severed FOREVER.
To-day we leave our
native soil to fight our battles for liberty in our sister State of North
Carolina. Willingly do we go, for we are not fighting the battles of Virginia alone.
The march was trying to the men, and our camp for the night was far from being
comfortable.
SOURCE: William S.
White, A Diary of the War; or What I Saw of It, p. 112-4
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