Monday, March 10, 2014

John Brown to Mary Ann Day Brown, March 7, 1844

SPRINGFIELD, MASS., March 7, 1844.

MY DEAR MARY, — It is once more Sabbath evening, and nothing so much accords with my feelings as to spend a portion of it in conversing with the partner of my choice, and the sharer of my poverty, trials, discredit, and sore afflictions, as well as of what comfort and seeming prosperity has fallen to my lot for quite a number of years. I would you should realize that, notwithstanding I am absent in body, I am very much of the time present in spirit. I do not forget the firm attachment of her who has remained my fast and faithful affectionate friend, when others said of me, "Now that he lieth, he shall rise up no more." . . .  I now feel encouraged to believe that my absence will not be very long. After being so much away, it seems as if I knew pretty well how to appreciate the quiet of home. There is a peculiar music in the word which a half-year's absence in a distant country would enable you to understand. Millions there are who have no such thing to lay claim to. I feel considerable regret by turns that I have lived so many years, and have in reality done so little to increase the amount of human happiness. I often regret that my manner is no more kind and affectionate to those I really love and esteem; but I trust my friends will overlook my harsh, rough ways, when I cease to be in their way as an occasion of pain and unhappiness. In imagination I often see you in your room with Little Chick and that strange Anna. You must say to her that father means to come before long and kiss somebody. I will close by saying that it is my growing resolution to endeavor to promote my own happiness by doing what I can to render those about me more so. If the large boys do wrong, call them alone into your room, and expostulate with them kindly, and see if you cannot reach them by a kind but powerful appeal to their honor. I do not claim that such a theory accords very well with my practice; I frankly confess it does not; but I want your face to shine, even if my own should be dark and cloudy. You can let the family read this letter, and perhaps you may not feel it a great burden to answer it, and let me hear all about how you get along.

Affectionately yours,
JOHN BROWN

SOURCE: Franklin B. Sanborn, The Life and Letters of John Brown, p. 60-1

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