A dreary dismal day of rain, and my feelings are in
accordance with the weather. At midnight last night Mr. P. was summoned to the
Institute by a dispatch received from Jackson, requiring the corps of cadets to
march at once to his support in an expected battle. Before three o'clock he
returned, saying he too was to go early in the morning. Although something of
the kind has been continually dreaded, it was a shock to me — and such a grief!
He is gone — to be exposed certainly to the chances of a stern battle; there is
no mail communication between Jackson's position and this, so I can't hear from
him, and must be content with rumors, which are torturing, because generally so
exaggerated.
After he left me, I shut myself in his study, and blotted
the leaves of his Bible with my tears, while I read on my knees the 91st Psalm,
and besought God to realize to him all the promises contained in that Psalm.
Then, with my finger on the Saviour’s promise, “Ask and it shall be given you,”
etc., I plead his fulfilment of it to me in my precious husband's behalf; and I
think I felt a relief in laying my aching heart on the bosom of the
Redeemer. “Be not afraid, only believe! God has been so good to us in the past,
let us trust him for the future” — my Beloved said to me as he held me in his
arms at parting. With God's help I will try and act upon his counsel. Am I not
limiting my heavenly Father's power when I feel that my husband is less safe on
the battle field than at home? Wherever he is, the Almighty arms are around
him; this being so, why should I be afraid? “Why art thou so fearful, oh, thou
of little faith!”
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Psalm 91
1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15 He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
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