My poor old diary comes to a very abrupt end, to my great
distress. The hardest thing in the world is to break off journalizing when you
are once accustomed to it, and mine has proved such a resource to me in these
dark days of trouble that I feel as though I were saying good-bye to an old and
tried friend. Thanks to my liberal supply of pens, ink, and paper, how many
inexpressibly dreary days I have filled up to my own satisfaction, if not to
that of others! How many disagreeable affairs it has caused me to pass over
without another thought, how many times it has proved a relief to me where my
tongue was forced to remain quiet! Without the blessed materials, I would have
fallen victim to despair and “the Blues” long since; but they have kept my eyes
fixed on “Better days a-coming” while slightly alluding to present woes; kept
me from making a fool of myself many a day; acted as lightning rod to my mental
thunder, and have made me happy generally. For all of which I cry, “Vivent pen,
ink, and paper!” and add with regret, “Adieu, my mental Conductor. I fear this unchained
lightning will strike somewhere, in your absence!”
SOURCE: Sarah Morgan Dawson, A Confederate Girl's
Diary, p. 76-7
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