Editing a Paper

The following was found in the office of an editor by the county sheriff:

Editing a paper is very pleasant business.

If it contains too little, they won’t have it.

If the type is large, it don’t contain enough reading matter.

If the type is small they can’t read it.

If we publish telegraphic reports, folks say they are nothing but lies.

If we omit them, they say we have no enterprise, or suppress them for political effect.

If we publish original matter, they damn us for not giving them selections.

If we publish selections, folks say we [are lazy] for not writing more and giving them what they have not read in some other paper.

If we give a man a complimentary notice, we are censured for being partial.

If we do not, all hands say we are a greedy hog.

If we remain in the office and attend to business, folks say we are proud too to mingle with our fellows.

If we go out, they say we never attend to business.

If the local is too long, they have not time to read it.

If it is too short, there is nothing in it.

If it is city local, they knew it before.

If it is country local it is of no use.

– Published in The Union Sentinel, Osceola, Iowa, Friday, December 30, 1864