The jokes that have been related concerning the ignorance of
backwoods justices are many and good. When
Muscatine was smaller than it is now our oldest inhabitants will remember the
old fellow who kept a “law shop” near where Butler’s Block now stands. We’ll call him Stubbs for short. Now Stubbs had a fellow brought before him;
just after his appointment, charged with stealing a watch. Persons swore they saw him take the article
and other witnesses swore positively that the prisoner at the time the watch
was stolen was at least fifty miles away.
On summing up the evidence, Old Stubbs was in a quandary. Finally he arose and with a great deal of
reluctance told the prisoner that according to the evidence on the side of the
prosecution he should be obliged to fine him five dollars. But as the defense had established an alibi, and he could not conscientiously
cause an innocent man to suffer he would pay the fine himself, which he
actually did, remarking that this was the most extraordinary case that had ever
come to his knowledge.
This same old Stubbs once went on a spree with several
friends and was terrible drunk for two or three days. After he got sobered off he arrested his
companions and fined them five dollars each for intoxication and disturbing the
peace. As soon as the trial was
concluded he commanded the constable to arrest Stubs immediately. The constable read the warrant. Stubbs pled guilty and fined himself five
dollars and costs of suit. The record
stands on the docket to this day. – {Muscatine Journal.
– Published in The Burlington Weekly Hawk-Eye,
Burlington, Iowa, Saturday, April 5, 1862, p. 2
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