Incident in Mahony’s Life

During a portion of the last summer, Mahony, through his Herald, so exasperated the loyal sentiment of the patriotic portion of the people of Dubuque, that he began to fear for the consequences.  The employees of the Herald went armed to the teeth, and on the passage of squads of volunteers along the street, pistols and guns were sometimes displayed at the Herald office windows.  Mahony at length took it into his head that he was no longer safe at night in his own house, and like other consummate villains before him, he had recourse to the Sanctuary.  He besought the Bishop to allow him to sleep in his own house.  The man of peace of course would not turn out the trembling wretch, and so Mahony found what he believed to be a secure asylum at the Rev. Father’s house.  Thither he repaired every evening at dark and as his mind was full of fears he regaled the man of peace with tales of horror about the threats and intentions of the “cowardly and bloody Abolitionists,” until even the good man feared for Mahony’s life. – Every sound on the street was eagerly listened to and every dog barks was a source of alarm.

Thus things went on for several nights until, one among the rest, when the fears of the rebel editor became unusually excited.  He had met with several sharp reprovals during the day, and he retired to the Bishop’s in a very dubious state of mind at night.  He regaled the good many with his usual tales of horror and fear, and in this state of mind retired to bed.

Some time about midnight, or a little after, a knock was heard at the front door.  Mahony who had been half asleep heard it instantly and started up in bed.  His burly form shook in terror from head to foot, and the bed trembled as if its occupant had a fit of ague, while he peered into the darkness and his ears stuck out from his head like a wolf’s.  Another knock and the Bishop heard it, and starting up in bed, said “Mahony, do you here that?”

“Oh, Lord!” groaned Mahony, “I’m gone.  They’ve come! they’ve come!” and springing out of bed, fell down on his marrow bones by the bedside, and began a most agonizing pray to the Madonna and all the Saints to pray for him, and the Savior of the world to have mercy on him.  Another knock louder than before and Mahony fairly jumped from his knees and shrieked in terror.  The good Bishop pitied the wretch in his agony, and tried to console him, even if his end had come, but he would not be reconciled to his fate, and made a bound for one of the windows, to get out headlong, which if he had accomplished, he would have been killed by the fall.  The good man held him back, and partly by force and partly by persuasion, got him to go down stairs with him, and examine whence the knocking proceeded.  Upon going to the door it was found that a poor harmless crazy person was the cause of all the knocking, and consequent fright.

Could we relate the above “incident in the life of Mahony,” as it was related to us, it would excite the broadest merriment, as well as show most conclusively the groundless fears of Mahony’s “guilty conscience.” – {Dubuque Times.

– Published in The Burlington Weekly Hawk-Eye, Burlington, Iowa, Saturday, June 7, 1862, p. 1