I have meditated on this day, as the anniversary of my
birth, and the shortening lapse of time between me and eternity. I am now
fifty-three years of age. Hitherto I have dismissed from my mind, if not with
actual indifference, yet with far more unconcern than at present, the recurring
birthdays which plunged me farther in the vale of years. But now I cannot
conceal from myself, if so disposed, that I am getting to be an old man. My
hair is gray — but nevertheless my form is still erect, and my step is brisk enough.
My fancies, tastes, and enjoyments have not changed perceptibly; and I can and
often do write without glasses. I desire to live after this war is over, if it
be the will of God — if not, I hope to exist in a better world.
We have no news of interest to-day. A letter says the
noncombatants, even the women and children, heedless of danger, were voluntary
spectators of the bombardment of Vicksburg the other day. The shells often
exploded near them, and behind them, but the-fascination was so great that they
remained on the ground; even one had an arm carried away by a ball! Can such a people
be subjugated?
Houses (furnished) are beginning to be offered more
plentifully than ever before; their occupants and owners finding their ordinary
incomes insufficient for subsistence. I suppose they mean to find in the
country an escape from famine prices prevailing in the city.
There is a rumor this evening of the fall of Vicksburg; but
that rumor has been whispered here several times during the last few months. No
one believes it. When Vicksburg falls, many an invader will perish in its
ruins.
SOURCE: John Beauchamp Jones, A Rebel War Clerk's
Diary at the Confederate States Capital, Volume 1, p. 269
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