Rochester, N. Y., Jan. 30, 1858.
My Dear Wife And
Children, Every One, — I am (praised be God!) once more in York State.
Whether I shall be permitted to visit you or not this winter or spring, I
cannot now say; but it is some relief of mind to feel that I am again so near
you. Possibly, if I cannot go to see you, I may be able to devise some way for
some one or more of you to meet me somewhere. The anxiety I feel to see my wife
and children once more I am unable to describe. I want exceedingly to see my
big baby and Ruth's baby, and to see how that little company of sheep look
about this time. The cries of my poor sorrow-stricken despairing children,
whose “tears on their cheeks” are ever in my eyes, and whose sighs are ever in
my ears, may however prevent my enjoying the happiness I so much desire. But,
courage, courage, courage! — the great work of my life (the unseen Hand that “guided
me, and who has indeed hidden my right hand, may hold it still,” though I have
not known him at all as I ought) I may yet see accomplished (God helping), and
be permitted to return, and “rest at evening.”
O my daughter Ruth! could any plan be devised whereby you
could let Henry go “to school” (as you expressed it in your letter to him while
in Kansas), I would rather now have him “for another term” than to have a
hundred average scholars. I have a particular and very important, but not
dangerous, place for him to fill in the “school,” and I know of no man living
so well adapted to fill it. I am quite confident some way can be devised so
that you and your children could be with him, and be quite happy even, and
safe; but God forbid me to flatter you into trouble! I did not do it before. My
dear child, could you face such music if, on a full explanation, Henry could be
satisfied that his family might be safe f I would make a similar inquiry of my
own dear wife; but I have kept her tumbling here and there over a stormy and
tempestuous sea for so many years that I cannot ask her such a question. The
natural ingenuity of Salmon in connection with some experience he and Oliver
have both had, would point him out as the next best man I could now select; but
I am dumb in his case, as also in the case of Watson and all my other sons.
Jason's qualifications are, some of them, like Henry's also.
Do not noise it about that I am in these parts, and direct
to N. Hawkins, care of Frederick Douglass, Rochester, N. Y. I want to hear how
you are all supplied with winter clothing, boots, etc.
God bless you all!
Your affectionate
husband and father,
John Brown.
SOURCE: Franklin B. Sanborn, The Life and Letters of
John Brown, p. 440-1
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