February 17, 1863, Evening.
Today I have been reading Judge Conway's1 speech
in Congress. I have found no leisure to watch carefully the reported change in
public opinion in the North. I did not believe till today, that our friends are
actually getting hopeless about the restoration of the Union on the basis of
universal freedom. Judge Conway's opinion I respect, and in this instance it
weighs like lead upon my spirits. Besides, I somehow feel that the sentiments
of a majority of the friends of freedom are too nearly represented in this
speech. If so, nothing short of a miracle can bring the present generation of
slaves into freedom. This thought makes me tremble when I look into the faces
of our brave fellows and remember what millions of such are waiting in bondage
for an opportunity to be as brave. The contemptible love of dominion so long
fostered in this nation will yet be the death of it. Of course a better nation
will grow out of the mouldering ruins, but it is cruel that the present good of
a nation and a race should be sacrificed on the altar of selfishness. These men
have wives and children, brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers yet in
slavery and they daily pray God to bless the nation that has begun to let them
fight for freedom. If the nation proves false to this half realized hope the
curse of God will weigh more heavily on us than ever before. I would rather
make my grave with the oppressed and outraged than survive the day of their
blighted anticipations. As God lives, liberty will come at last, but I long to
see her before I die.
_______________
1 Martin F. Conway, elected from Kansas to the thirty-seventh Congress. His speech on "The War" is printed in the "Congressional Globe," 3d Sess., 37th Cong., appendix, 62. It was reprinted in the "Boston Commonwealth" on February 14, 1863.
SOURCE: Proceedings of the Massachusetts Historical Society, Volume 43, October, 1909—June, 1910: February 1910. p. 365
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