Headquarters Army Of Potomac
January 29, 1864
If you saw the style of officers’ wives that come here, I am
sure you would wish to stay away. Quelle experience had I yesterday! I
was nearly bored to death, and was two hours and a half late for my dinner. Oh,
list to my harrowing tale. I was in my tent, with my coat off, neatly mending
my maps with a little paste, when Captain Cavada. poked in his head (he was
gorgeous in a new frockcoat). “Colonel,” said he, “General Humphreys desires
that you will come and help entertain some ladies!” I held up my pasty hands in
horror, and said, “What!” “Ladies!” quoth Cavada with a grin; “a surprise party
on horseback, thirteen ladies and about thirty officers.” There was no moyen;
I washed my hands, put on the double-breaster, added a cravat, and
proceeded, with a sweet smile, to the tent, whence came a sound of revelry and
champagne corks. Such a set of feminine humans I have not seen often; it was
Lowell factories broken loose and gone mad. They were all gotten up in some
sort of long thing, to ride in. One had got a lot of orange tape and trimmed
her jacket in the dragoon style; another had the badge of the Third Corps
pinned all askew in her hat; a third had a major's knot worked in tarnished
lace on her sleeve; while a fourth had garnitured her chest by a cape of grey
squirrel-skin. And there was General Humphreys, very red in the face, smiling
like a basket of chips, and hopping round with a champagne bottle, with all the
spring of a boy of sixteen. He spied me at once, and introduced me to a Mrs. M–––,
who once married somebody who treated her very badly and afterwards fortunately
went up; so Mrs. M––– seemed determined to make up lost time and be jolly in
her liberty. She was quite bright; also quite warm and red in the face, with
hard riding and, probably, champagne. Then they said they would go over to
General Sedgwick's, and General Humphreys asked if I would not go, too, which
invitation it was not the thing to refuse; so I climbed on my horse, with the
malicious consolation that it would be fun to see poor, modest Uncle John with
such a load! But Uncle John, though blushing and overcome, evidently did not
choose to be put upon; so, with great politeness, he offered them sherry, with
naught to eat and no champagne. Then nothing would do but go to Headquarters of
the 3d Corps, whither, to my horror, the gallant Humphreys would gang likewise.
Talk about cavalry raids to break down horses! If you want to do that, put a
parcel of women on them and set them going across the country. Such a LΓΌtzow's wild hunt hath
not been seen since the day of the respected L. himself! Finally one lady's
horse ran away, and off went the brick, Humphreys, like a shot, to stop her.
Seeing her going into a pine tree, he drove his horse between the tree and her;
but, in so doing, encountered a hidden branch, which slapped the brisk old gent
out of his saddle, like a shuttlecock! The Chief-of-Staff was up in a second,
laughing at his mishap; while I galloped up, in serious alarm at his accident.
To make short a long story, the persistent H. tagged after those womenfolk (and
I tagged after him) first to Corps Headquarters, then to General Carr's
Headquarters, and finally to General Morris's Headquarters, by which time it
was dark! I was the only one that knew the nearest way home (we were four miles
away) and didn't I lead the eminent soldier through runs and mud-holes, the
which he do hate!
To-day we have had a tremendous excitement: a detail of 250
men to “police” the camp, under charge of Biddle, just appointed Camp
Commandant. They have been sweeping, cutting down stumps, burning brush, and,
in general, making the worst-looking camp in the army neat and respectable.
SOURCE: George R. Agassiz, Editor, Meade’s
Headquarters, 1863-1865: Letters of Colonel Theodore Lyman from the Wilderness
to Appomattox, p. 65-7
