Sunday, March 9, 2014

Colonel Thomas Kilby Smith to Elizabeth Budd Smith, March 13, 1862

HEADQUARTERS 54TH REGT. O. V. U. S. A.,
ON BOARD STEAMER PRAIRIE ROSE,
NEAR SAVANNAH, TENNESSEE, March 13, 1862.

Within a few hours we shall probably be in battle. The last task I have to perform is to write to you and our dear mother. I have but little to say now that I have not expressed in former letters or in my conversations with you. I shall hope when this conflict is over to return to you; if by any untoward accident I should be unable to, I have only to ask of you to comfort mother in her declining years. An accident to me may prove to her a greater shock than she can bear. Of her I shall ask to comfort you who will need comfort and consolation. To our dear little children I have little to give save love and prayers. Keep their memory with love constantly alive for their father. The world will not speak well of him, for he has found in it more enemies than friends, and his pathway has not been smooth. The annoyances of life have prevented him from winning all their love. He has been harsh where he should have been kind. This they cannot now understand, but in after years they may. My only anxiety is to leave for them a name they may be proud of. The little valuables at Mr. Burt's, the banker's, are subject to your order; distribute them as you and mother think fit. My sword give to Walter; if Theodore survives him, let him have it. If both pass away, then Adrian. It is the only heirloom I care to preserve to the family. It will be to my boys, if they live, a memento of my life and the times in which we live. So much for business — and I pray you do not suppose that I entertain anything but bright anticipations of a glowing future. My heart is buoyant. My only anxiety is for my regiment, and that it may be taken into battle in due form and with a strict adherence to military rule. I may be mistaken, but my present impression is that the battle we are about to fight will be the test and turning-point of this war. If we succeed, negotiations will follow; if not, neither you nor I will see the end of this unhappy controversy. I think mine is a fighting regiment. I may be deceived or place my hopes too high. I pray to God I may not disgrace the regiment with me. I shall do my best, and leave the rest with the God of Battles.

SOURCE: Walter George Smith, Life and letters of Thomas Kilby Smith, p. 189-90

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