How McClellan Took Manassas

BY OLD NAPOLEON

[Francis Suydam Hoffman]

Heard ye how the bold McClellan,

He, the wether with the bell on;

He, the head of all the asses —

Heard ye how he took Manassas?

When the Anaconda plucky

Flopped its tail in old Kentucky;

When up stream the gunboats paddled.

And the thieving Floyd skedaddled,

Then the chief of all the asses

Heard the word: “Go, take Manassas!”

2

Forty brigades wait around him,

Forty blatant trumpets sound him.

As the pink of all the heroes

Since the time of fiddling Neros.

"Now's the time," cry out the masses,

"Show your pluck and take Manassas!"

Contrabands come flocking to him:

"ho! the enemy flies — pursue him!"

"No," says George, "don't start a trigger

On the word of any nigger;

Let no more of the rascals pass us,

I know all about Manassas."

When at last a prowling Yankee —

No doubt long, and lean, and lanky —

Looking out for new devices,

Took the wooden guns as prizes,

Says he: "I sweow, ere daylight passes,

I 'l1 take a peep at famed Manassas."

3

Then up to the trenches boldly

Marched he — they received him coldly;

Nary reb was there to stop him,

Nary Minie ball to drop him.

Gathering courage, in he passes:

"Jerusalem! I've took Manassas."

Bold McClellan heard the story:

"Onward, men, to fields of glory;

Let us show the rebel foemen.

When we're Ready we're not slow, men;

Wait no more for springing grasses —

Onward! Onward! to Manassas!"

Baggage trains were left behind him,

In his eagerness to find them;

Upward the balloons ascended,

To see which way the rebels trended;

Thirty miles away his glasses

Swept the horizon round Manassas.

4

Out of sight, the foe, retreating,

Answered back no hostile greeting;

None could tell, as off he paddled,

Whitherward he had skedaddled.

Then the chief of all the asses

Cried: "Hurrah! I've got Manassas."

Future days will tell the wonder,

How the mighty Anaconda

Lay supine along the border,

With the mighty Mac to lord her:

Tell on shaft and storied brasses

How he took the famed Manassas.

SOURCE: Francis Suydam Hoffman, “How McClellan took Manassas,” Privately Printed, New York, 1864