MADISONVILLE. – We arrived here about five last evening,
and, strange to say, the journey, fatiguing as it was, has not altogether
disabled me. But I must go back to Clinton to account for this new change. It
would never do to take more than a hundred miles at a single jump without
speaking of the incidents by the way. Numerous and pleasant as they were, some
way they have unaccountably paled; and things that seemed so extremely amusing,
and afforded me so much pleasure during these four days, now seem to be absurd
trifles half forgotten.
I now remember lying in state on Lilly's bed Wednesday,
talking to Mrs. Badger (who had been several days in town), Anna, Sarah Ripley,
and the others, when Frank suddenly bolted in, just from Port Hudson, to say
another good-bye, though I told him good-bye at Linwood Sunday. Presently the
General entered, just from Linwood, to see us off; then Mr. Marston and his
daughter, and Mr. Neafus, all as kind as possible, until a perfect levee was
assembled, which I, lying all dressed with a shawl thrown over me, enjoyed all
the more as I could take my ease, and have my fun at the same time. Frank,
sitting by my pillow, talked dolorously of how much he would miss us, and
threatened to be taken prisoner before long in order to see us again.
When we were finally left alone, I fancy there was very
little sleep in the house. As to me, I lay by Lilly wide awake, thinking how
lonely she would be without us, and perfectly désolée at the idea of
leaving the Confederacy (the dear gray coats included); so when it was almost
sunrise there was no necessity of rousing me to dress, as I was only too glad
to leave my sleepless bed. Before I got dressed, Anna, her mother, and Sarah
Ripley came in again; then Miss Cornstock; and just as I had put the last touch
to my dress, the gentlemen of the night before entered, and we had almost an
hour and a half's respite before the carriage, less punctual than we, drove to
the door.
The General picked me up in his arms and carried me once
more to the carriage. Then the servants had to say good-bye; then Lilly, very
quiet, very red, and dissolved in tears, clung to me almost without a word,
hardly able to speak, whilst I, distressed and grieved as I was, had not a tear
in my eyes — nothing but a great lump in my throat that I tried to choke down
in order to talk to Frank, who stood at the window by me, after she left. . . .
How the distance lengthens between us! I raise up from my pillows and find
myself at Camp Moore at four o'clock. Forty miles are passed over; good-bye,
Frank!
From Camp Moore we had to go three miles back, to find
Captain Gilman's house where we were expected. The gentleman is a friend of
Gibbes, though I had never seen any of them before. Such a delightful place,
with everything looking so new, and cool, and such a hospitable hostess that I
thought everything charming in spite of my fatigue. I had hardly a moment to
look around; for immediately we were shown to our rooms, and in a very few
minutes Miriam had me undressed and in bed, the most delightful spot in the
world to me just then. While congratulating myself on having escaped death on
the roadside, I opened my eyes to behold a tray brought to my bedside with a
variety of refreshments. Coffee! Bread! Loaf-sugar! Preserves! I opened my
mouth to make an exclamation at the singular optical illusion, but wisely
forbore speaking, and shut it with some of the unheard-of delicacies instead. .
. .
Early next morning the same routine was gone through as
Thursday morning. Again the carriage drove to the door, and we were whisked off
to Camp Moore, where the engine stood snorting with impatience to hurry us off
to Ponchatoula. . . . Soon we were steaming down the track, I reclining on my
pillows in an interesting state of invalidism, sadly abashed now and then at
the courteous, wondering gaze of the soldiers who were aboard. Having very
little idea of the geography of that part of the country, and knowing we were
to take a carriage from some point this side of Ponchatoula, fancying how
surprised Mr. Halsey would be to hear we had passed him on the way, I took a
card from my traveling-case, and wrote a few words for “good-bye,” as we could
not see him again. I sealed it up, and put it in my pocket to send to the first
post-office we passed.
About twelve o'clock we stopped at Hammond, which was our
place to disembark. Mother sent out to hire a negro to carry me off the
platform; and while waiting in great perplexity, a young officer who had just
seated himself before me, got up and asked if he could assist her, seizing an
arm full of cloaks as he spoke. I got up and walked to the door to appear
independent and make believe I was not the one, when mother begged him not to
trouble himself; she wanted a man to assist her daughter who was sick. Calling
a friend, the gentleman kindly loaded him with the cloaks, etc., while he
hurried out after me. I was looking ruefully at the impracticable step which
separated me from the platform. The question of how I was to carry out my
independent notions began to perplex me. “Allow me to assist you,” said a voice
at my elbow. I turned and beheld the handsome officer. “Thank you; I think I
can get down alone.” “Pray allow me to lift you over this place.” “Much obliged,
but your arm will suffice.” “Sarah, let the gentleman carry you! You know you
cannot walk!” said my very improper mother. I respectfully declined the renewed
offer. “Don't pay any attention to her. Pick her up, just as you would a child,”
said my incorrigible mother. The gentle man turned very red, while Miriam
asserts I turned extremely white. The next thing I knew, by passing his arm
around my waist, or taking me by my arms — I was so frightened that I have but
a confused idea of it — I was lifted over the intervening gulf and landed on
the platform!
Hammond boasts of four houses. One, a shoe manufactory,
stood about twenty or thirty yards off, and there the gentleman proposed to
conduct me. Again he insisted on carrying me; and resolutely refusing, I
pronounced myself fully equal to the walk, and accepting his proffered arm,
walked off with dignity and self-possession. He must have fancied that the
injury was in my hand; for holding my arm so that my entire weight must have
been thrown on him, not satisfied with that support, with his other hand he
held mine so respectfully and so carefully that I could not but smile as
it struck me, which, by the way, was not until I reached the house!
Discovering that he belonged to Colonel Simonton's command,
I asked him to take Mr. Halsey the note I had written an hour before. He
pronounced himself delighted to be of the slightest service, and seeing that we
were strangers, traveling unprotected, asked if we had secured a conveyance to
take us beyond. We told him no. He modestly suggested that some gentleman might
attend to it for us. He would be happy to do anything in his power. I thought
again of Mr. Halsey, and said if he would mention we were in Hammond, he would
be kind enough to see to it for us. “May I ask your name?” he asked, evidently
surprised to find himself asking a question he was dying to know. I gave him my
card, whereupon mother asked his name, which he told us was Howard. We
had been talking for some ten minutes, when feeling rather uncomfortable at
being obliged to look up at such a tall man from my low seat, to relieve my
neck as well as to shade my face from any further scrutiny, I put down my head
while I was still speaking. Instantly, so quietly, naturally, and unobtrusively
did he stoop down by me, on one knee so that his face was in full view of mine,
that the action did not seem to me either singular or impertinent —in fact, I
did not think of it until mother spoke of it after he left. After a few moments
it must have struck him; for he got up and made his parting bow, departing, as
I afterwards heard, to question Tiche as to how I had been hurt, and declaring
that it was a dreadful calamity to happen to so “lovely” a young lady.
SOURCE: Sarah Morgan Dawson, A Confederate Girl's
Diary, p. 350-5
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