Emory Upton to his Sister, January 20, 1860

West Point, January 20, 1860.

MY DEAR SISTER: The nature of your letter shows conclusively your deep interest in my welfare. Your letter did me much good. In order to answer its questions, I had to examine myself to ascertain what motives actuate me. I can not be too thankful for having been reared under Christian influences, for especially at this time do I need the assistance of God to keep me in the path of rectitude. We are living in perilous times. Government, society, everything seem to be on the verge of revolution. The passions of the people are being waked up, and they must have vent. God is directing the storm, and all is for the best. We may ask, How have we incurred his displeasure ? The answer is easy. Mormonism, spiritualism, intemperance, slavery, corruption in politics, either of which is almost sufficient to curse a people. Few there are who have not bowed the knee to Baal. We must have reform. We must return to reason and virtue. Why should we expect tolerance when God suffered such calamities to befall his own chosen people? He scourged them with war, and he will punish us likewise. If we are to have war, I shall have no conscientious scruples as to engaging in it, for I believe I shall be on the side of right. I am ambitious; but I shall strive to limit it to doing good. It will profit a man nothing to gain the whole world and lose his own soul.  Since I first began to call upon God, I have daily asked his assistance and direction, and I feel that he is nearer me now than ever before.  You know not to what temptations we are exposed here, yet he has not allowed me to be tempted further than I could bear.  Whenever lethargy, indifference or skepticism has crept over me, the remembrance that our sister and brother died happy, trusting in God, has been an incentive to renewed effort to continue faithful to the end.  I shall trust in God.  If he intends me to occupy a high position he will raise me to it; if not, I shall be happy in having done my duty and in meeting his approval.  There will be no limit to the opportunities of doing good in the army.  There will be wounded soldiers to minister to, and the dying to comfort.  Surely I can do good.  These remarks may be premature; but the conviction strengthens that we must have war.  I thank God that none of my relatives will feel its horrors; but I pity those where conflict must occur.

SOURCE: Peter Smith Michie, The Life and Letters of Emory Upton, p. 18-9