Political news it would be absurd to record; for our
information is more than limited, being frequently represented by a blank. Of
the thirteen battles that Gibbes has fought in, I know the names of four only:
Bull Run, Stonebridge, Port Republic, and Cedar Run. Think of all I have yet to
hear! To-day comes the news of another grand affair, the defeat of McClellan,
Pope, and Burnside combined. If I dared believe it! But accounts are too meagre
as yet. Both Gibbes and George were in it, if there was a fight, and
perhaps Jimmy, too. Well! I must wait in patience. We have lost so much already
that God will surely spare those three to us. Oh! if they come again, if we can
meet once more, what will the troubles of the last six months signify? If I
dared hope that next summer would bring us Peace! I always prophesy it just six
months off; but do I believe it?
Indeed, I don't know what will become of us if it is delayed
much longer. If we could only get home, it would be another thing; but
boarding, how long will mother's two hundred and fifty last? And that is all
the money she has. As to the claims, amounting to a small fortune, she might as
well burn them. They will never be paid. But if we get home, what will we do
for bedding? The Yankees did not leave us a single comfort, and only two old
bars and a pair of ragged sheets, which articles are not to be replaced at any
price in the Confederacy, so we must go without. How glad I am that we gave all
our blankets to our soldiers last summer! So much saved from the Yankees!
Poor Lavinia! She fancies us comfortably settled at home; I
dare say she spends all her time in picturing to herself what we may be doing,
and recalling each piece of furniture the rooms contained. Wonder if she would
not be shocked if the real scene were suddenly revealed to her, and she should
see the desolated house and see us fugitives in a strange town. Wonder how the
cry of “Where are those three damned Secesh women?” would have struck her, had
she heard the strange oaths and seen the eager search which followed? I dare
say it would have frightened her more than it did me when I was told of it.
William Waller says it is God's mercy that we had escaped already, for we
certainly would have suffered. I hardly think we could have been harmed,
though, and shall always regret that we did not return immediately after the
battle. It took them from that day to the evacuation to finish the work; and I
rather think that our presence would have protected the house.
Our servants they kindly made free, and told them they must
follow them (the officers). Margret was boasting the other day of her answer, “I
don't want to be any free-er than I is now — I'll stay with my mistress,” when
Tiche shrewdly remarked, “Pshaw! Don't you know that if I had gone, you'd have
followed me?” The conduct of all our servants is beyond praise. Five thousand
negroes followed their Yankee brothers from the town and neighborhood; but ours
remained. During the fight, or flight, rather, a fleeing officer stopped to
throw a musket in Charles Barker's hands, and bade him fight for his liberty.
Charles drew himself up, saying, “I am only a slave, but I am a Secesh nigger,
and won't fight in such a d----- crew!” Exit Yankee, continuing his flight down
to the riverside.
SOURCE: Sarah Morgan Dawson, A Confederate Girl's Diary, p.
210-2
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