Charlotte, N. C.—We
barely escaped with the skin of our teeth! The flight from Richmond was even
more hasty and exciting than the exodus from Columbia, only I am not equal to
writing about it. Congressman F—— accompanied us and other friends. I fear it
is all up with the Confederacy, and with me also. I am ill; I have fever—typhoid.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 284
I have neglected
you, my little book, but don't you know how sick I am? And how they have all
been busy nursing me, so tenderly, so patiently, so untiringly—Ernestine,
Elise, and the members of this kind family, the Davidsons. We are back in our
old quarters with them, and I count myself blessed that such is the case. Never
can I repay them for their kindness! God, you pay them for me! Heaven, if ever
they come to troublous days, and dark nights, send down thy tender light upon
them! I cannot pay them; I am a miserable, weak thing, with very little moral
strength and very much body (all aching). I wish my spirit didn't have to be
pent up in this body. My brother told me of his prison house; we all have a
prison house. Death is the escape—so why should any one dread death?
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 284
The wires being up
again, I have been sending telegrams home to allay anxiety. Have been sitting
up a little, and the doctor finally consents for me to be removed home. He—and
every one here—treats me as a dear friend, not as a stranger. When I asked him
for my bill, he said, "I have none," and when I insisted, he made out
one for ten dollars. Ten dollars in Confederate money! It wouldn't buy enough
salt to season his egg for breakfast! I could not keep back the tears while
handing him the money, and not long ago, when I was well, I never used to cry
for anything. But kindness touches where nothing else does. I do like doctors,
and men in general, men of high nature, and true. Perhaps I have spoken flippantly
of them sometimes, but, bless you, not a word of it was seriously intended.
Whatever their foibles, men as a class are more generous than women; they don't
laugh so much in their sleeve at other people; they are not so full of
paradoxical conceits and petty animosities; they are not so apt to be distanced
in the first heat of goodness; and are altogether more tolerant in mind and
catholic in spirit. I say again, I like men. This world would be a very stupid
place without them. The other girls have gone, but Lise and Ernestine have
waited for me, and we will be off as soon as may be.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 284-5
Chester.—I have
borne the journey thus far well, and as the railroad stops here, the rest
having been destroyed by Sherman's army, we will travel the remainder of the
journey in a government train of wagons. Many, many friends have we encountered
here, trying, like ourselves, to get back home. Lise's brother is to go in our
party, and Mr. West.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 285
Newberry.—The wagon
trip across country was glorious! I, the invalid, was made comfortable on a
cotton mattress, spread on the body of the wagon, and Lise and Ernestine, and
the gentlemen in attendance, did all things possible for my comfort and
well-being. Even the wagon drivers were good to me, and the very mules seemed
to regard "the sick lady" compassionately out of mild eyes and
patient. One night, we slept in the beautiful country home of the Means';
another at the Subers'; and the other—oh! night of nights we camped out!
Vividly do I recall the minutest detail connected with that night in the
woods-the pink line that flushed the western sky, the slowly descending
twilight, the soft curves of the hills, the winding courses of the roadways,
the sleeping cattle, the sloping meadows, the flitting figures of the teamsters
about the blazing fire, the brooding solitude, the stillness of the midnight
hour. The others breathed softly, in deep repose, and I lay with face upturned
and eyes opened to the tender benediction of the stars, and then it was that,
with every mysterious inspiration of the night, a picture of the scene was
painted on the canvas of memory. I must put on record a very singular incident
which occurred during this cross-country journey: We stopped at midday near a
farmhouse, to rest the teams and procure a drink of cool water. Seeing us, the
farmer came out to the well and cordially invited us to enter, which we gladly
did, and while conversing quietly together on the piazza, one of us—it must
have been Lise, for she is always the first to see everything happening to look
overhead, espied the United States flag, and the American eagle, drawn in
colors on the ceiling. The sight was electrical; it struck us with a shock.
"But why should
it shock us?" asked one of the gentlemen. "It is merely an evidence
that our host is a Unionist. Every man to his own notion, say I! But it means
nothing to us."
It did to me; it
meant a great deal; I looked upon those emblems with a superstitious eye.
"We are invincible!" was their language to me; "we are over your
heads, and there we are going to stay!" Little did I dream how soon this
imaginative interpretation would be literally verified.
We had heard before leaving
Charlotte that the advance guard of the Union forces had entered Richmond a day
or two after our departure, but that was all we knew. Now, another singular
thing happened. While we still sat together on that piazza, under the wings of
the American eagle and the folds of the star spangled banner, there came along
a soldier in gray. He was dirty, and ragged, and barefooted, and he looked on
the ground sadly as he moved upon his way, walking slowly, as if he had come
from afar and felt footsore and weary. Mr. C— ran out upon the roadside and
accosted him. Was there any news?
The man answered,
"News? Wall, yes; I reckon there is! Ain't yer heared it?"
"No, indeed. We
have heard nothing. What is it?"
There was a ghastly
silence. This piece of news seemed to be an unutterable thing for the soldier
in gray.
"Do speak! For
God's sake, what is it?"
Then the man in gray
lifted his bowed head slowly, and replied: "Lee has surrendered!"
"It is not
true! It cannot be true!"
But it was true.
"Wasn't I
there?" asked the soldier, whose voice sounded as if his heart were
broken. "Wasn't I there when it happened on the 9th of April?"
What more was there
to be said? Failure is a bitter thing, but I think the only way to meet it is
in silence and with courage.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 285-6
Newberry.—Lise and
Ernestine are long since home, but my dear friends here will not listen to my
leaving until I have grown stronger. I do not get on physically as fast as I
ought. It is very restful here, after the exciting life in Richmond. What of
the city now? What of the sunshiny pavements, where I promenaded but so lately,
amid scenes of such brilliancy and life? There came a sudden darkening in her
sky, and I know not how weak I am until I undertake to touch upon these themes.
Surely the feeling of utter helplessness is the worst feeling in the world.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 286-7
It is a hard thing
to say, but I am going to say it. I don't admire all the men who wear the
Confederate uniform! I would rather dig holes in the ground than talk to some
of them!
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 282
I could eat a tallow
candle if I had a good one. But I have accepted an invitation to dine with the
Trenholms—in my dreams!
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 282
There now! Somebody
was as cross today as Sir Fretful himself, and as cold as an irate
step-grandmother. How ridiculous! Especially when we don't do anything to make
other people like us and pay us attention.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 282
Made two new
acquaintances today. One is a soporific, and the other—well, I don't understand
him, and I haven't got time to try to understand everybody.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 282
A great joy has come
to me this day, an unlooked-for, an inexpressible joy! A card was brought to
me, and I took it with a sigh, because so many cards are brought in and we have
so little time for rest. But the name upon that particular card made my heart
thump and thump so fast I thought it would thump clean out of my body. It was
my dear brother's name—the scout, who has been in prison two years, first at
Camp Chase and recently at Fort Delaware. Without stopping as usual to give a
last touch to my hair, I rushed into his presence and into his arms. He's the
rowdiest, shabbiest, patchiest looking fellow you ever saw, but as handsome as
ever, and the same old darling. We talked and talked; we crowded the talk of
two long years of separation into two short hours of face to face. It is a
thrilling romance, the way he escaped from prison. In a dead man's shoes it
was! That man's name was Jesse Tredway, and he died in his bunk after his name
had been entered on the list of exchange. My brother put his dead comrade in
his own bunk and said nothing. He answered to his name in the roll call and
quietly took his place in the ranks of the outgoing prisoners. The details of
that journey homeward, the recital of his adventures and narrow escapes from
detection all along the route, is something to be heard from his own lips in
order to be appreciated. The recital made the blood tingle in my veins and then
suddenly run cold; made my pulses throb and then suddenly cease almost to throb
at all. Think of it! The recklessness of the deed, and his subsequent anxiety
and fear of detection every moment. In the soft veil of the night, in the white
light of the morning, under the noonday sun, under the midnight stars, even in
the stillness of sleep, never to be rid of the fear of detection. His very life
hung upon the issue, for he had made up his mind to shoot down the first man
who remanded him back to prison. Thank God! he was never detected, never
remanded back! He will now journey on without delay, on foot, for the most
part. He has no money to pay his passage—but what of that? It is a pleasure to
him to walk on God's fair earth again, no longer a shut-up animal in a cage;
the earth is full of a new glory for him, the glory of sweet liberty. The exile
has returned to his home.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 282-3
Congressman Farrow
asked me today if I were feeling well. Come to think of it, I do not feel well.
My nerve forces seem to be all out of tune, and my digestion is impaired—in
fact, a general malaise appears to be the result of hardtack on my
constitution.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 283
My head aches; I
have no appetite (and nothing fit to eat, either); my senses are dull. Heaven
grant I may not be ill in Richmond! At this particular epoch, it is the place
for everything else, but no place to be sick in.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 283
Mr. Duncan brings us
the weightiest news. The Confederacy is going to the dogs—or, did he say the devil?
That young lieutenant was right. We may have to fly from Richmond as we did
from Columbia. It is a profound secret as yet; but he warns us to be ready to
leave on quick notice. Are we to be driven to the wall? I can't believe it! But
somehow—somehow—my heart is as barren of hope tonight as the great Sahara of
water.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 283
Indeed, something
very serious is astir in military circles. After arranging everything, the M.
P. has had to give up the projected outing on the James? It is not safe—a fight
is brewing.
Doubtless I should
worry more if I felt better; when the head is so confused with pain, and the
nerves unstrung, all other matters are secondary.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 283-4
Feel better today.
Mr. Connelly gave us a collation in the hotel in lieu of the abandoned picnic.
Very swell, despite the blockade. Must have cost him a pretty sum. I told Mr.
Duncan I would not leave Richmond, so full of a certain charm is the life here;
but of course have had to give in, and now am ready for another flight as soon
as he notifies us.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 284
Ballard House,
Richmond.—We have taken Richmond, if the Yankees haven't! Yes, we are here; but
had some trouble to get settled. The fashionable mode of living is
room-keeping, and we are strictly in the fashion. And now how nicely comes in
that trunk of provisions my thoughtful papa made me bring, much against my own
wishes. On opening it, we found meal, hominy, flour, a side of bacon, some
coffee, tea, and a quantity of potatoes. They will help us along wonderfully,
as all food products bring a tremendous price in this beleaguered city.
Ernestine went to market this morning and paid $10 for a steak for our
breakfast. At that rate we can only afford to take a savory smell occasionally!
Ernie is simply angelic in spirit—she never loses patience, never gets cross,
never says anything she oughtn't to say, even against the Yankees ! The city is
crowded to suffocation, the streets thronged with soldiers in uniform, officers
gaily caparisoned, and beautiful women, beautifully dressed, though not in the
latest Parisian toilettes. I should say there is no more brilliant capital
among all the nations. Are there great and somber tragedies going on around us?
Is there a war? I thought so before I reached Richmond!
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 277-8
Our department
quarters here are not nearly so comfortable as those left behind in Columbia.
They do well enough, however. I have not had a chance to mention that handsome
officer we saw on the train after leaving Greensboro. He was of the blonde
type, with tawny, flowing mustache, and hair bright as "streaks from
Aurora's fingers." Tall and broad-shouldered, he was attired in a
captain's uniform, and deeply absorbed in reading a book. What was the book?
Lise and I were wild to find out. We did find out, and, I hope, without
exciting the least suspicion on his part. The book was "Quits."
Knowing the story so well, and his face being so expressive, we could almost
guess the contents of the pages as he turned them over. But after awhile he did
not appear so deeply interested in it, and when our train had to be exchanged
for another he stepped forward, raised his hat, and asked to be allowed to
remove our packages. He was very grave and dignified. Were we wrong in
accepting the attention? Sadie says we must not accept the slightest attention
from unknown men while thus traveling. We have been thrust forth from the safe
environment of our homes and cannot afford to take any risks. Sadie is as
proper as a dowager duchess of eighty. But, ah! the strange exigencies of these
times! What is to become of us? There is no longer the shadow of a doubt—our
homes are in ashes.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 278
I find myself
regarding Lise with increasing admiration and affection. She is surely the most
graceful girl in existence, combining a lot of downright amiability with a vast
amount of tact. Also, she has a deal of fun and mischief. That blonde stranger
must have noticed all of this with his eyes, so darkly blue.
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 278
A letter from home!
A letter from home! It reached me by hand through the department—is most
reassuring and at the same time most delightfully comprehensive. They are all
safe—thank God, my dear ones. Johnny came through without a scratch, and so did
my new Steinway. It was a night of untold horrors (the 17th), but in the
general conflagration our house was saved. My father and mother made friends
even among their enemies, and through their exertions and old Maum Nancy's the
family were fed and protected during the whole time. A number of Federal
officers were quartered with the family until the morning of the 20th. One of
them, whom mamma describes as "a most attractive young lieutenant,"
examined my music, tried my piano, playing with no little skill, and then
inquired, "Where is she; the young lady who plays?" And when my
father answered, “Gone to Richmond," he laughingly rejoined, "Ran
away from the Yankees! Now, where was the use of that? We are just as sure to
catch her there as here." Are you, Mr. Lieutenant? I fancy not; Sherman's
army can't expect to overrun the whole earth; we are safe enough in Richmond.
And yet I regret again not being there. I might have conducted the argument on
both sides, for awhile, with that attractive young lieutenant, and who knows?
perchance make one Yankee's heart ache a little. What fun! What an opportunity!
What a chance to get even have I lost!
SOURCE: South
Carolina State Committee United Daughters of the Confederacy, South
Carolina Women in the Confederacy, Vol. 1, “A Confederate
Girl's Diary,” p. 278-9
