I was asleep the greater part of last night, but cannot call
it rest. Oh! those hideous dreams which haunted me. I went to a market on
Bridge street in Waco, where human flesh, sound and putrid, was bought and
sold. I bought and ate, and made my children eat, then dreamed again. Oh! such
horrid, phantastic and awful visions as only opium can breed! Fearful crimes
were calmly concocted, and the darkest mysteries were enjoyed with devilish
glee! Everything which was unholy, everything fiendish, damnable and impure
seemed ever present. But the night and the dream have past, and let them be
past forever! I am not so well to-day as yesterday, but do not think I will
need any more medicine.
Major Holman came to see me again this morning. Mr. Lewis,
an old gentleman, formerly clerk of the Federal Court at Tyler, also came to
see me. He is just from Huntsville, Alabama, and gave me suggestions as to the
route across the Mississippi.
I took a whisky toddy this morning. Miss Beloy came in and
brought a very fat, pretty baby, her little sister. She is an amiable looking
girl-reminds me of sister Mac (Mrs. DeSanssure) as she looked in the golden old
days when we were young and before so many friends had dropped like flowers in
the tomb, and when Mac had lightly "supped sorrow." When I have tears
to shed let them fall for the dread affliction of my friends, for Oh! how
bitterly, bitterly my dear sisters, Mrs. M. B. and Mac DeS. have suffered!
Mrs. Bacon's little girl seems very sick to-day. I have been
in Mrs. B.'s room lying on a lounge nearly all the morning.
SOURCE: John Camden West, A Texan in Search of a
Fight: Being the Diary and Letters of a Private Soldier in Hood’s Texas Brigade,
p. 20-1