Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 6, 1863

Getting better fast, but can't write much yet.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 89

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 7, 1863

Was carried back into the house to-day and put among the convalescents. I must be getting well, but it is slow. Most all the time I was worst off Dr. Andrus let me have anything I wanted to eat, but then I couldn't eat it. Now I can eat, he has cut me down to nothing. What he allows me only makes me crazy for more.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 89

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 8, 1863

Had a wash and a shave and am tired out. The regiment has marching orders. Wish I was out of this to go with them.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 89

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 9, 1863

Gunboats are said to be going up the river every day. I wonder what's up.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 89

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 10, 1863

Don't feel quite so smart as I did. This getting well is slow business.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 89

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 11, 1863

The boys say they are ready to march, but don't get any further orders. Letters from home. Have written to father wish I could see him.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 90

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 14, 1863

Not feeling so good these last few days.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 90

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, Sunday, March 15, 1863

Have my pants on and have made up my bed. If this keeps on I'll soon be able to hunt for something to eat.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 90

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 16, 1863

Ben Crowther is awful sick. He is a fine fellow and we hate to lose him. He is of better stuff than the average of us. I wish I could kill his nurse, for he has him tied down to the bed and stands laughing at his efforts to get loose. But it is the only way to keep him in one place, for he is out of his head. Talks to his wife as if she was right by his side.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 90

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 17, 1863

Last night I got a little box from home. That I may never forget a single thing in it I'll put them right down now. On top was a New York Sun, next a dear little letter from Jane. A little package of tea, a bottle of Arnold's Balsam, a pipe, a comb (wish it had been a fine tooth comb), a little hand looking-glass, a spool of thread, a lot of buttons, a good lead pencil, a pair of scissors, a ball of soap, half a paper of pins, a darning needle and a small needle, a steel pen and way down in the bottom a little gold locket which made the tears come. God bless the dear ones at home. How thoughtful and how kind of them to think of so many things, and all useful, too.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 90

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 18, 1863

Too much excitement yesterday and I feel like two weeks ago. The doctor says I will have these setbacks though and it is only a part of the process of getting well. A man named Kipp died to-day. I don't know how many die out in the tent.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 91

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 19, 1863

Poor Crowthers died very peacefully about noon to-day. His cot is next mine and he seemed like one of the family to me. The company has undertaken to raise money to send his body home.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 91

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 20, 1863

Orderly Holmes is very sick. His discharge is under his pillow (or knapsack). He lies in a room next to this and I can hear him talk, giving orders to the company as if he were well.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 91

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, Saturday, March 21, 1863

This is a hard spot to get well in. Two poor fellows are near their end to all appearances, and it is trying to hear them rave about home and their families. I am glad their friends cannot see and hear them. And yet the hardened wretches called nurses find something in it to laugh at. I wish I could change places between them and the sick ones. Wrote three letters to-day and don't feel so very tired. Begin to think Dr. Andrus was right. If he would only let me eat about four times as much, what a jewel he would be.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 91

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, Thursday, March 26, 1863

The finest morning yet. The air is just right. The birds are singing, the sun shining bright and everything seems just right for getting well. A man named Barker died last night about midnight. He has seemed to be dying for a week and we have watched to see him breathe his last any minute. Orderly Holmes is better and may get well after all. Some of the boys killed an alligator to-day and cooked and ate his tail. They say it is just as good as fish and looked like fish.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, pp    . 91-2

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 27, 1863

Have been downstairs. My legs just made out to get me there and back. Will they ever get strong again? But I am getting there, slow but sure, as I can see by looking back only a short time.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 92

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, March 28, 1863

Another fine day, and another trip downstairs. My legs behaved better this time. Am not near so tired. Now that I can write without getting tired I must put down some things I remember, but which I could not write at the time. I shall always remember them of course, but I want to see how near I can describe them on paper. First I want to say how very kind my comrades have been all through. I can think of many acts of kindness now that I paid little attention to then, but they kept coming along just the same. Whatever else I think of, the thought of their care for me and how they got passes and tramped miles to get me something to eat, always taking it to Dr. Andrus first to see if it would do for me these thoughts keep coming up and my load of gratitude keeps getting heavier. Can I ever repay them? God has been good to me, better than I deserve. I was first taken to the room where I am now writing. I remember but little of what happened before I was taken out and put in the big hospital tent. It is a large affair, made up of several tents joined together endwise and wide enough for two rows of cots along the side, with an alley through the middle, towards which our feet all pointed.

I remember the head medical man coming through every day or so and the doctors would take him to certain cots, where they would look on the fellows lying there and put down something in a book. I soon noticed that most always such a one died in a short time, and I watched for their coming to my cot. One day they did, and I remember how it made me feel. Dr. Andrus was so worked down that a strange doctor was in charge, but under Dr. Andrus, who had charge over all. When he came through I motioned to him and he came and sat on the next cot, when I told him I would get well if I could get something good to eat. "All right," said he, "what will you have?" I told him a small piece of beefsteak. He sent one of the nurses to his mess cook and he soon came back with a plate and on it a little piece of steak which he prepared to feed me. But the smell was enough and I could not even taste it. The doctor then proceeded to eat it, asking if I could think of anything else. I thought a bottle of beer would surely taste good and so he sent to the sutler's for it. But he had to drink that too, for I could not. He laughed at me and though I was disappointed, it cheered me up more than anything else had done for a long time. When I got so I could eat, I surely thought he would starve me to death.

A poor fellow across the tent opposite me got crazy and it took several men to hold him on his cot. The doctor came and injected something in his breast which quieted him for the night, but when it wore off he was just as bad and he finally died in one of them. On my right lay a man sick unto death, while on my left lay another whose appetite had come and who was begging everybody for something to eat. His company boys brought him some bread and milk which he ate as if famished. The next morning when I awoke and looked about to see how many faces were covered up I found both my right and left hand neighbors had died in the night and their blankets were drawn up over their faces. The sights I saw while I was able to realize what was going on were not calculated to cheer me up and how I acted when I was out of my head I don't know. At any rate I got better and was brought back to this room, where I have since been.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, pp. 92-4

Diary of 5th Sergeant Lawrence Van Alstyne, Sunday, March 29, 1863

Had a thunder shower in the night and some sharp lightning. Was not allowed to go out to-day on account of the ground being wet. We hear of hard fighting up the river, but reports get so twisted I put little stock in them. Still I hope they are true, for they are most all favorable to our side.

SOURCE:  Lawrence Van Alstyne, Diary of an Enlisted Man, p. 94

Diary of Gideon Welles, Monday, July 16, 1866

We are having, I think, as warm weather as I have ever experienced. The papers have a curt letter from Speed resigning his office. He has also written an elaborate but not very profound letter to Doolittle, dissenting from the Philadelphia Convention.

The President sent in a veto on the new bill establishing the Freedmen's Bureau, or prolonging it. His reasons against it were strong and vigorous, but the two houses, without discussing or considering them, immediately passed the bill over the veto, as was agreed and arranged by the leaders, Stevens and others. Very few of the Members know anything of the principles involved, or even the provisions of the bill, nor, if informed, had they the independence to act, but they could under the lash of party vote against the President. Two or three of the Members, in telling me the result, spoke of it as a great triumph in the manner of the final hasty passage without any consideration.

SOURCE: Gideon Welles, Diary of Gideon Welles, Secretary of the Navy Under Lincoln and Johnson, Vol. 2: April 1, 1864 — December 31, 1866, p. 554

Diary of Gideon Welles, Tuesday, July 17, 1866

Still excessively warm. Not much at the Cabinet to note. Stanton read a strange dispatch from Gen. George H. Thomas at Nashville, stating that some of the Tennessee members of the legislature would not attend the sessions and asking if he should not arrest them. The President promptly and with point said, if General Thomas had nothing else to do but to intermeddle in local controversies, he had better be detached and ordered elsewhere. Stanton, who should have rebuked Thomas, had, I thought, a design in bringing the subject to the President, who has warm personal friendship for the General. On hearing the emphatic remark and witnessing the decided manner of the President against Thomas's proposition, Stanton dropped his tone and said he had proposed to say to T. that he should avoid mixing up in this question. "But shall I add your remark?" said he. "My wish is," replied the President, "that the answer should be emphatic and decisive, not to meddle with local parties and politics. The military are not superior masters."

SOURCE: Gideon Welles, Diary of Gideon Welles, Secretary of the Navy Under Lincoln and Johnson, Vol. 2: April 1, 1864 — December 31, 1866, pp. 554-5