It would be only the absurd tableaux I agreed to, with
plenty of fun, and nothing more. So I tried to be merry and content, and so I
should have been, for there was plenty to talk about, and every one was so
solicitous for my comfort; and there was Mr. Enders who would wheel my chair
for me wherever I wished it, and was as kind and attentive as a brother. Surely
my first trip should have been a gay one! Miriam sat down by the piano, Mr.
Enders drew me by her, and we three sang until dark together. A Mr. Morse, his
wife, and mother, who are spending a week here, were our audience. The first
two retired at candle-light, while the latter, present at the play the night
before, remained to the last. But while we sang, every noise at the parlor door
caused us to turn with the apprehension of we hardly knew what. A dozen times
Mr. Enders consulted his watch, and telegraphed his fears to me, though I
persisted in thinking it only the fun that had been intended.
Half-past six came, and with it, Mrs. Worley. Now, she knew better.
For Dr. Dortch had come to see me, and was guiding me in my game of euchre in
which I was not even as wise as my partner, Mr. Enders, when her note came.
Instantly we put down our cards, while Miriam begged him to write and tell her
the true story. He wrote and we all read it. Not only that, but Miriam added a
postscript which I think was this, word for word: “Mrs. Worley, it is only a
bet at cards, intended as the merest joke. There is not a word of truth in it,
and I will consider it the greatest favor if you will contradict the report
whenever you may hear it!” Explicit enough, one would think; but still she
came, and sent word into the parlor that one of the ladies present when Will
made the announcement had sent her contribution to the evening's fun. It turned
out to be a complete bridal suit, worn by the lady a year ago! That was too
serious a jest. Miriam went into the other room to speak to Mrs. Worley, who,
cold as an icicle, refused to receive or make explanation, beyond “I won't kiss
you; this is too cruel.” There was nothing to do; she returned laughing, but
certainly feeling herself the injured one, and so she was.
In fifteen minutes, another stir. I held my breath with
expectation. Lydia introduced — Mr. G——.
Ten miles he had ridden through mud and water that freezing evening, at
Will Carter's request, to perform the ceremony between him and Miriam. Lydia
laughed until she could hardly introduce him. He, hat in hand, bowed around the
convulsed circle with a countenance shining with the most sublimely vacant
expression. O that man's idiotic face, and solemn, portentous look, brought a
writhe even to my trembling lips! Mr. Enders would have given one an excellent
idea of the effect produced by a real old piney-woods chill; he shook as with
suppressed laughter. But when the tremendous preacher (tremendous because
composed of gigantic Nothing) turned his lugubrious face towards Mrs. Morse,
and addressed her as Mrs. Morgan under the impression that she had come down to
see her daughter married, Miriam's risibles could no longer stand it, and she
flew from the room in time to avoid a disgraceful explosion.
I was growing frightened. Mr. Enders was leaning over my
chair, and involuntarily it burst from me with a groan, “For God's sake, help
me save her!” “Hush! Lie back in your chair! I will!” he whispered. “But for
the love of Heaven, save my sister!” “I’ll do what you will, if you will only
keep still and not hurt yourself. I’ll do my best.” It was all whispered, that
the minister and Mrs. Morse might not hear. “If it were your sister, what would
you do?” “My God! I'd meet him on the front gallery and kick him out! Then I'd
know one of us must die to-morrow!” “But under the circumstances it is
impossible for Gibbes to act!” I urged, while we agreed that it was the most
unwarrantable piece of insolence ever perpetrated. While we talked, Gibbes had
seized Miriam and, without interfering or advising further, advised her to keep
her room and not meet Will.
But I skipped the most important part. She came back when
she had recovered her composure, and sat by me. Mr. Enders, when I asked what
was best to do, whispered that to spare Will's feelings, and avoid a most
painful scene, as well as to show that she had no serious intentions whatever,
she should see that the minister was put in full possession of the facts before
it went any farther. He felt keenly his unpleasant situation, and it was only
our earnest request that induced him to remain, or give his advice. Who should
explain? Certainly not the General. He thought the joke carried too far, and
retired to his room before Mr. G–– came. How take part against his own nephew?
Not Gibbes either, for he had gone upstairs too worried and annoyed to talk to
any one; besides, it was his wife's cousin. Who then? Miriam is one woman in a
thousand. Rising, she crossed the room slowly and as dignified as though she
only meant to warm herself. I think I see her before me now, as she stood
before the fire, facing Mr. G––, looking so handsome and stylish in her black
grenadine with the pale-green trimming, telling her story. Plainly, earnestly,
distinctly, without hurry or embarrassment, in the neatest, prettiest, most
admirable speech I ever heard, she told everything just as it was. Bravo for
Miriam! There lives not the woman in this State who could do so painful a thing
in such a beautiful way. I felt like hugging her. Oh, it was magnificent! He
heard her in surprise, but when once satisfied of its truth, he said, “Well,
Miss Morgan, when you stand on the floor, when I ask if you will, it is your
privilege to answer, ‘No.’” Miriam is not one to do so cruel a thing; she is
too noble to deceive him so far and wound him so cruelly before all, when he
believed himself so near happiness. She said that it was mockery, she would not
suffer him to believe for an instant that she meant to marry him; if he
believed it, he was deceiving himself wilfully, for he already knew that she
had told him it could never be. He agreed to take it only as a jest, promised
that he would not feel hurt; and with the most admirable tact, Miriam, the
trump (I have been playing euchre, excuse me), settled the minister, and the
wedding, by her splendid behavior, with no trouble.
A rapid step was heard in the hall; the bridegroom had come!
I know he must have killed his horse. He certainly did not leave his house
before one o'clock; it is twenty miles by the road to Clinton; he went there,
procured his license, and was here at seven, in full costume. He bounded
upstairs to meet the bride-elect.
I can fancy him going to Clinton, doubting, fearing,
believing against all evidence, yet trembling; securing the license at last,
persuading himself that she would not dare refuse when the deeds were recorded
in court, and he held them in his hand; — and very few women would have been
brave enough, too; he did not know My Miriam! I can fancy the poor horse lashed
through the heavy mire, tired, foaming, panting, while his strong arm urged it
on, with whip and spur; I can hear the exulting beating of his heart, that wild
refrain that was raging as his death-knell — “Mine! Mine at last!” I could hear
it, I say. It rung in my ears all night. He held her in his power; she must be
his; hastily, yet carefully he performs his toilet; I dare say he stopped to
think which cravat she liked best. “Mine! Mine!” the song is ringing in every
stroke of his throbbing breast. Mount! Mount! Two miles fly past. He sweeps
through the moonlight like Death riding on a pale horse; yonder shine lights in
the parlor; and that above; is it hers? He throws himself from his horse; his
hour has come, hers too; with the license and minister, his own adoration — and
she must love him too! — he will win! Show him the way to her! She is his
forever now! His? My God! had I not reason to cry, “In God's name, save her,
Frank!” He reaches Mrs. Carter's room, and triumphantly throws the license on
her table. He is ready now; where is his bride?
Some one meets him. “Will!”
The story is told; she is not to be won by force; she has
appealed to the minister; he has carried the jest too far. The strong man
reels; he falls on the bed in his bridal array in agony too great for tears. I
dare not ask what followed; they tell me it was awful. What madness and folly,
to dream of forcing her to marry him! Why, if she had loved him, the
high-handed proceeding would have roused the lion of her spirit! He is no mate
for her. He has but one thought, and at last words come. “Miriam! Miriam! Call
her, for the love of God!” One word! one look! Oh, she will take pity on him in
his misery. Let her come for one instant! she cannot be so cruel! she will
marry him if only to save him from death, or worse! And fortunate it was that
he was not armed, one of the two would have died; perhaps both. The heartbroken
prayer goes on. The exulting “Mine! Mine!” has changed to the groan of despair,
“Miriam! for the love of God! come to me!”
And where is the bride? Gibbes has her caged in the next
room, this one where I am now lying. He has advised her not to appear; to go to
bed and say no more. Sent to bed like a baby on her wedding night! She says
that she laughed aloud when the door closed on her. She laughing in here, he
groaning in there, it is to be hoped they each drowned the voice of the other.
. . . The minister said good-night. He disclaimed all feeling of pique; he felt
chiefly for the young lady — and the disappointed groom. (Ouf!) I sent to ask
Will to come to me alone for a moment; no, he could not see me; write to him.
Slowly, as though an aged, infirm, tottering man, we heard
him descending the steps. How different from the step that carried him up! We,
conscience-stricken, sat within, with doors closed. He was off. He has again
mounted his horse, and the brokenhearted man, hardly less cruel than the
expectant bridegroom, dashes the rowel in his side and disappears like a
whirlwind.
I can fancy mother's and Lilly's agony, when they hear of
the wedding. All Clinton knew it last night, and if they did, too, I know there
was as little sleep for them as for us. I know mother shrieked, "My child!
My child!" while Lilly cried. How could he believe she meant to marry him,
without even sending word to mother when he was going to the very town? Bah!
What a jolly go if those two got hysterics about the supposed Moral Suicide!
Glad I was not at the tea-party! Well, fearing the effect of such a shock in
mother's nervous state, Gibbes advised Miriam to go on the cars this evening,
and convince her that it had not occurred, court records and licenses and
minister to the contrary notwithstanding; so my duck, my angel, she whom I call
my Peri with the singed wings (children who play in the fire must expect to be
burned), set off on her pious errand, without the protecting arm of her
bridegroom.
_______________
* A page is here torn from the Diary. It evidently related
the beginning of an incident of which my sister and I have often heard our
mother tell: how, after the Jackson tableaux, our aunt Miriam laughingly staked
herself in a game of cards with Will Carter — and lost. The sequel follows, the
scene at the house of his uncle, General Carter, beginning in the middle of a
sentence. — W. D.
SOURCE: Sarah Morgan Dawson, A Confederate Girl's
Diary, p. 290-8
